Parker

Parker is, unfortunately, a member of Sugar Pine 7. He was brought on to sell posters, and never really left. He is exceptionally weak, getting water-boarded, beat up, and cursed on a regular basis. Even though his weak body can hardly hold his odd head, he is capable of causing major damage, as long as it isn't on purpose.

Buisness
Although Parker isn't good at anything, he seems to have some sort of business "skills". Not only helping Steven with the posters, he went on to help selling different merch as well. It is assumed that he only does well in business due to people feeling bad for him.

Curse
While visiting a Psychic, Parker received a curse. Somehow, the curse made Parker even more annoying, ruining multiple shoots, and just being a nuisance. Even more surprising, the curse was eventually exorcised by Cib.

Roommates
Parker lives with two other people, Jeremy and ???. They seem to be there to edit his videos, but most likely just take care of him, as he isn't capable of doing anything, ever.

Fashion
Parker has terrible fashion sense, which is one of the least annoying parts about him, and that's saying something. He doesn't seem to understand his body, and neither do clothing stores. All clothes are either too large, or far too tight.

Impersonation
Parker has attempted to become other people multiple times. He once took advantage of Stevens Sleepover to do a voice over on his video, pretending to be him. He has also dressed as him on multiple occasions.

He also has Impersonated Cib before, thinking that it would make him more likable, forgetting that Cib is mentally disabled, and impersonating him is basically a hate crime.

"Skills"
While Parker is generally unskilled, he seems to have bursts of usefulness. Although we don't see it on camera, it is assumed he is actually a skillful negotiator and business man, as Steven has kept inviting him to business meetings. He also came up with the plan to sell 10,000 camera parts, in order to get Steven out of debt. Parker's' other skill is apparently fighting. He is a quick learner, and even learned Cib's "WoRd of God" kill move, only seeing it preformed one time.

Cool Parker
Parker has occasional moments of being actually really cool. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen often, but when it does, its a good time for everyone

Differences
Thankfully, when Parker is cool, there is a noticeable difference. He is much calmer, and speaks in a much slower cadence. His posture is also different, as being cool seems to somewhat negate his scoliosis. Some people report that Parkers skin color is also slightly darker, but these rumors are unconfirmed.